Guys, seriously, I’m soooo sorry for not blogging as much as I should have been, I’ve failed you utterlyyy!!!
Excuses are not my forte, but I’ve just been uber busy with random crap that’s kept me away from my compy, and when I do actually manage to get online, I never have anything to say. It’s pretty rubbishy actually, because when I’m out and about I generally come up with stuff which is pretty intense and deep, but by the time I’ve got online al my inspiration has gone and I’d much rather curl up in bed with a good book or my DS than sit in a baking conservatory and try to write when I feel dull.
Ok, now I’ve stopped moaning and grovelling (for now) I guess I’d better update you all on recent goings on…
Finished my A levels, they were tough as shit and I hated them, and have since been working at Boots, seeing friends, helping my mum, or sleeping. It’s hard to get up before 9 now… I used to be up at 6 every day without fail, and I have no idea now how I manged it!
Done a full day at work; not worth the money, but it wasn’t as bad as I expected…
Been filming for more Spit in My Eye (or SiME o_X) which is always good, I enjoy it, But we need to get more done! Lols.
Apparently my mate’s coming to see me soon… I made a whoopsie with the dates though, so I hope it’s gonna work out, because, to be fair, if he says no again, (said no the last 3-4 times I asked him to come up ¬¬) I’m going to physically drag him down here. I may have made a mistake, but seriously dude, there are no obligations til August for you! :p It should be fine, my head’s just a bit fuzzy at the moment. Feeling Ill.
I don’t generally admit to much, but I’m feeling incredibly fragile at the moment…It’s kinda like all the emotions I’ve been hiding for the past 18 years are getting a bit pissed at not being let out… But I don’t do that. I have this image of someone who generally doesn’t give a fuck, and never cries, just gets grumpy but is generally fun to be around and a bit of a laugh.
I’m sick of it.
I’m sick of being the happy-go-lucky who doesn’t care if people poke fun at me, or if I’m the butt of a joke.
Well I do care.
I’m fed up of people taking the piss if I get something wrong, or say something slightly out of place.
I’m not perfect, I never said I was, I just hate it when people make fun of me constantly for no good reason other than it’s good sport.
I’m sick of not being able to cry.
I’m sorry that this has turned into another whinge about my life, but I’m so swamped by everything at the moment I need to talk about it, even if it’s only a blog. I know people don’t give a fuck, and that’s fine by me. I don’t need strangers to care bout my feelings, just those closest to me.
My image won’t change. If I start crying in public or getting super-pissed off at a seemingly harmless joke, people will just think I’ve had a breakdown…
Well, you know what?
Fuck them.
Fuck them all.
I’ll be whoever and whatever I want to be, and no force on this earth or outside of it will make me be anyone other than who I want to be.
Listening to P!nk’s So What at the moment…It always cheers me up… I’m soo getting some of those lyrics tattooed on me one day…
Getting my hair cut tomorrow, hopefully reminiscent of P!nk’s hair in U+ Ur Hand, when she’s boxing. Perhaps not red…not yet, anyway.
Argh, not much else for me to say, other than I love some of the people in my life, I hate others, and am indifferent towards the rest. Those who don’t care about me, I couldn’t give a fuck about you. If you’re gonna love me, Love me like your life depends upon it, for that is how I’ll love you.
Listen to me, getting all phillisophical and romantic, I think I might be seriously ill… I hate romancy things, it makes me feel icky.
Ok, if someone buys me flowers or cooks a nice dinner for me etc, I like it and I really appreciate the gesture, but I totally don’t know how to react! I mean, JC was the first person to EVER get me flowers, and I had no idea what to do. Awkward or what? Not that I didn’t like them, because they were lovely.
Gone off on a tangent again, my apologies.
I fear you won’t get another coherent sentence out of me, so I’ll leave it at that.
Take care pineapple fiends.
B xxx
